bonjour es ce que vous pouvez me coriger​

Dear Shannon* ou comme tu l'as écrit, "my dear Shannon", si tu es proche avec le destinataire de la lettre.

I have not forgotten that today is your birthday*

In* the boat

I became the boss of a company*

Ce que je t'ai corrigé, c'est des petites fautes, bénines. Le reste, c'est parfait ! Bravo !

Bonne journée :)

I hope you are DOING well

First, I have not forgotten THAT TODAY IS your birthday!

I am very happy BECAUSE I HAVE FOUND A JOB WHO will change my life. I became THE boss in a company. That's why I would like TO you to come to Los-Angeles next to me. I really want TO you to come here because I noticed THAT during our separation I felt feeling toward you. I hope you will come THEN wime will live happily until the end of our life.

Il te manque les erreurs de ponctuation à corriger toi-même sinon tout est bon